7 means of attention-seeking I find uncomfortable

Behold, our look-at-me culture
A girl fears to ask
For the approval she seeks
Their voices loom loud
If only one would hear
Copy-cultured cronyism
Pretentious praise, their highest joy
All the while, I wither
Tongue glued to my palate.

~Rachel O, Caveat Ties

Mozart craved attention… Adulation. And deep in his diaphragm, he was an insecure man who often slumped into a funk when he didn’t raise the praise he desired, or thought he deserved. Above all, I think he wanted people to acknowledge his work. I often wonder what he would have done to get attention. And, what he wouldn’t have done. In my own search (and research), I wonder what I’m willing to do. I’m not sure. I kind of want my stuff to stand for itself. I don't want crap to get attention, just because I know how to market it. But, it just doesn’t work that way. So, I thought of 7 things I feel uncomfortable doing (whether I should or not) in order to get attention. These are likely why I am having some troubles.

Tying myself to a charity

“All proceeds will…” This is a very popular marketing gimmick, and maybe I’m wrong for thinking the way I do about it. I mean, don’t we live in a quid pro quo culture? Why not help oneself if it helps others? But, when an organization does this, it doesn’t really seem as if it is about the charity. It’s a self-serving double-propping: making money from letting everyone know how virtuous he or she is.

Being offensive, controversial, or provocative solely for the sake of being offensive, controversial, or provocative

There is a difference between being honest, and trying to shove ideas in another’s face. I have things to say that many would find controversial, even offensive. And, I want to ask tough, probing questions that get at the root of what we believe. But, I would prefer to bring forth my message in a way that gets people to contemplate, as opposed to goads. Besides, the only ones that really cling to such attentions-getting tactics are like-minded ilk. And, I’m not necessarily trying to cater to the like-minded.

Repetition

I once read that the secret to get gobs of twitter followers was to tweet often. One, I don’t have the time or computer access to compete with the bulk of twits. Two, what am I supposed to say? Do I say the same thing over and over again? I tend to assume, if no one responds the first time, my words probably weren’t anything anyone wanted to hear.  Or, do I just say every vain babbling that comes into my head, hoping that something finally resonates with someone? That can’t be a good strategy for me, a man that has the tendency to foot/mouth my words. I need time (lots of it often) to think about what I say before I say. (My wife will agree.) But, this is most likely a losing strategy. It seems the number one marketing rule is repetition. And, I know with as fast as people spew out blather, it is quite likely that my words have gotten lost.  Sometimes, repetition is the only way to get an idea’s buds the light of sun

Asking for help, or asking for attention

Again, this is most likely one of the worst set of uncomforts I have. Why am I afraid to ask for help? I don’t think it is because I’m afraid people will say ‘no’. I’m afraid they will say ‘yes’ begrudgingly. I don’t want to make my passions a burden for others. I want to create something others enjoy, something that makes people think, whatever it is. And, another reason I’m afraid to ask for help is because I might not hear what I want to hear. Like, “Don’t quite your day job.” (Night job in my case.)

Catering

Leopold constantly reminded his son to not neglect the popular.  But, what if I don’t like the popular? Either mainstream or literary. If I don’t like what everyone else likes, do I really think I can get people to accept what I think they should like? I wonder if some authors create a shell of arrogance, by saying their unliked works are unliked solely because an audience isn't sophisticated enough to like it? Yet, I still create to meet an unmet demand: myself.

Flattery

I’ll be the first to admit, I need to be better about saying encouraging words to others. But, I don’t want to give empty complements to others in order to manipulate them into beaming a spotlight on me. And, vice versa. And, I don’t want to comment on other people’s posts solely to prop myself. I want to actually be interested, and have something to offer the conversation.  

Risk-taking

I don’t think many really like taking risks. When it concerns my personal well-being, I am not as fearful. But, when others are dependent on me… Sometimes I tell myself, if I thought the way I do now, as I did when I was single… Maybe I would have… How could I possibly justify throwing time and money into a writing venture, when three children under six depending on me to provide? Especially since, I haven’t even a hint of success to spur me foreword.